In our ongoing quest to learn to live with the long-term impact of losing a child to suicide, both my wife and I have found our own outlets to chart our paths forward. Sometimes we move together, and sometimes individually. Both are important as we search for ways to make peace with the reality of…
When Father’s Day Doesn’t Feel “Happy”
Father’s Day is one of those days on the calendar I’ve come to dread, and I know I’m not alone here. For those of you who have lost your own dad, or if, like me, you’ve lost a child, this one is for you. On a weekend when the entire world seems to be saying…
It’s Just a Profile Picture
It’s just a profile picture, right? The concept seems so simple. Post a pic that reflects who you are. Update it with fun new versions of you. Update it with the seasons. Update it with the latest cause you support. Keep things fresh and current. If only it felt that easy for me. Author’s note:…
The Janus Effect
Ever wonder where the month of January got its name? My least favorite month of the year has its origins in the ancient Roman mythological god Janus. With a nod to my former colleagues from the firm of the same name, I’ll start by saying this is not the behind-the-scenes story of the golden age…
Looking for Wind at Our Backs
As we approach what would be Rivena’s 29th birthday this weekend, there’s part of me that feels compelled to write something. After all, my cadence with this blog has been twice per year around the hard days on the calendar – something I’ve written about here before. And yet, the words seem harder to come…
Wading Back Into Christmas
How do you manage when Christmas doesn’t feel so merry? This is the third holiday season for our family since losing Rivena, and it’s a question we are still trying to answer. Losing a loved one is hard, period. Losing a child is soul-crushing. And it’s no secret that the holiday season can stir up…
Kindness, Politics, and Leaving the GOP
Dedicated to my two LGBTQ kids. I see you, and I stand with you. I did not want to write this. I really didn’t. But at 62 days until election day, now is as good a time as ever to articulate why I feel like I’ve been left behind by the political party I have…
An Elusive Path Forward
Why is it that an arbitrary date on a calendar can bring so much anxiety? There is no rational, logical reason to fear a date. And yet, today has come like a freight train steadily gaining speed. The simple fact that I have fallen into a habit of only publishing on this site around birth…
Desperado: You’ve Got to Let Somebody Love You
“You’ve got to let somebody love you, before it’s too late.” If you close your eyes, I bet you can hear that famous lyric from the Eagles tune playing in your head. For all my daughter did to embrace that line, too late came too soon. Today should be Rivena’s 27th birthday. She died by…
An Unwelcome Anniversary
One year. It seems like such a long time. And it feels like yesterday. 365 days, and the blink of an eye. We lost Rivena on this day one year ago. And I remain at a loss for words as to why our oldest child took her own life on January 28, 2018.
(Not) Turning 26 Today
Sometimes love just isn’t enough. Those were the only words I could manage to write the day after Rivena died. In the numbness of a long flight back home, I pulled out a pen and the new journal that my kids had given me for Christmas a few weeks earlier, and those 5 words were…
An Unlikely Advocate
An unlikely advocate. That’s what I have become. But I am first and foremost a parent of two amazing young women, ages 25 and 20, and like any parent, I want nothing else in the world above the happiness and health of my kids. What follows here is a story about our family’s relationship with the oldest of our two daughters.